Pia Glenn on Richard Sherman: "A Black Weekend Update Special Report!" (Video)

YouTube's Pia Glenn offers some hilarious straight talk about racist reactions to Richard Sherman's interview. 

The 40 Manliest Man Quotes

See the full list @ http://www.curatedquotes.com/man-quotes/

The Disavowing of Masculinity

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There has been a trend within online and academic media to reject or diminish the existence of traditionally masculine characteristics among modern men.  I've come across several articles and posts that feature stories by or about men who attest to being deeply in-touch with their “feminine sides,” while ignoring their relationships with their “masculine sides.”  Take for example an article featured on the GoodMenProject several weeks ago titled, “The Manliest Thing About Me…”  The author, Reesee Zigga Zagga, stopped a random assortment of men at a conference and asked them to complete the phrase: “The manliest thing about me is...” As I was looking through the collection of responses, I was surprised to see that most of them described attributes (stereo)typically associated with femininity, such as: “my heart,” “my ability to show emotion,” “I cry,” “my vulnerability.”  While I don’t doubt that these men were describing real aspects of their characters, I was left wondering: Are these really the manliest things about these men?

Now, don’t misunderstand me.  I think it is fantastic that many men today are able and willing to revel in the softer aspects of their identities.  Just a few decades ago, a man’s admission of sympathy or compassion was frequently met with social disapproval and ridicule.  Today, many men are quite at-ease sharing parts of themselves that may have been disparaged in their fathers’ time – and that is awesome.  However, alongside this trend of men embracing their softer side seems to be an omission, dismissal, and (at times even) demonizing of traditionally masculine/male traits, e.g. protectiveness, competitiveness, aggressiveness, assertiveness, sexual appetite, deference to truth over feelings, passion, confidence, independence, and so on.  

Of course, these aren’t characteristics necessarily held by all men, nor are they necessarily absent in women.  Indeed, I am a firm believer that gender expression is relatively fluid with regard to both sexes – some women are more masculine than some men and vice-versa, and nearly all individuals experience changes in their gender expression during their life or even from one situation to another.  Nevertheless, it is also true that the traits listed above (ones typically associated with masculinity) are found in males far more commonly than they are found in females – a distinction which persists across culture, history, and species.  Furthermore, most masculine characteristics are directly related to the amount of available testosterone present within any individual.  On average, men’s testosterone levels are 10 to 45 times higher than women’s.

This is all to say, no matter how you slice it, men, as a group, embody masculine characteristics more frequently and to a greater degree than do women.  While it is arguable that some degree of these traits may be socialized into men at a young age, they are, nonetheless, imbedded aspects of men’s present-day manhood – resistant to change whether they were natured or nurtured into existence.  And why should we want to change them?

Whether we are talking about masculinity or femininity, there is nothing inherently good or bad/better or worse about either expression of gender. This notion is as true today as it was fifty years ago.

My concern isn’t just about the re-narrowing of acceptable masculinity within society.  What is at stake is men’s ultimate acceptance, understanding, and governance over their own natures as well as an individual and social recognition of what manhood actually entails.  When a man can’t admit that the “manliest thing” about him is his insatiable sex drive or a constant yearning to be better than the next guy, then he is left to feel ashamed of these parts of himself or is compelled to deny their existence altogether – only to have them abruptly emerge during times of high stress and/or vulnerability. 

Keep in mind that acceptance is not surrender.  That is, accepting that you are a highly competitive guy doesn’t mean you must give-in to every felt need to outdo the people around you.  On the contrary, by accepting that competitiveness is strong aspect of your character, you can learn when and how to make use of your competitiveness and when and how to reign it in and focus on more important things.  By knowing and accepting these aspects of ourselves as men, we can also gain more insight into our lives and our relationships with others, which can be negatively affected by unexamined aspects of our character. 

But a man, who is unwilling to admit that he is an aggressive, sexual, protective, or competitive guy (at least to himself), sacrifices his capacity to oversee and make use of those parts of himself that he is too afraid or ashamed of to acknowledge.

Black Men w/ Beards: A Philadelphia Trend Reflecting Religion & Regional Style (video)

Philadelphia is known as "the city of brotherly love" and these brothas' love their beards. The beard has a special significance in Philadelphia culture and it is unlike any other city in America. In Philadelphia the beard is an expression of individuality, religious observance and civic pride. "That's what God gave us, hair on the face," said Leroy Robinson Jr., a barber at New Identity Barbershop who has been cutting heads and beards in Philadelphia for 33 years. Each man possesses the capability to grow a beard, and for each man, there is a reason motivating his choice to grow or to shave, to groom, trim or leave alone. The Sunni Beard is the story of one such beard, which is worn by many of Philadelphia's Muslim converts, and is a prominent feature of chins, cheeks, and jowls throughout town.

From PhillyBeard.com

Youtuber Comes Out to His Mom in an Emotional Video

Wow.. This one will hit you right in the feels.  

Youtuber Ryan records himself coming out to his mother in a candid and emotional moment.  It takes him a while to find his words.  But once he does, his mother's response is priceless. 

Ryan's reason for recording and sharing this moment with the web:

I made this video because when I was contemplating coming out for the last year, I found other similar videos of people coming out to family members on a hidden camera really helpful. I noticed that there weren't very many of these videos, so I wanted to create my own to help other people in the same way that I found these videos helpful. If you've created a similar one, I guarantee you I've seen it, so thank you so much for helping me. My mom reacted in an amazing way, and I really hope that all of you have a similar experience.

Let me know what you think. 

Male Bonding or Bullying? (video)

A satirical video from The Onion hits on some interesting points about the ways some men connect and bond with one another.  

Area Man Unsure If He’s Male-Bonding Or Being Bullied

Why You're Less Likely to Meet a Gay Man in the South -- Or Are You? (O.C.)

It seems that intolerance of homosexuality does contribute to how men express their same-sex interests. This past weekend, The New York Times published an article titled: “How Many American Men Are Gay?” which took a look at the percentage of self-identified gay men in the United States. The writer, Seth Stephens-Davidowitz, collected reports of homosexual interests among men from a variety of sources, including the U.S. Census, Gallup, Facebook, Match.com, Craigslist, Google searches, and Rocket Tube (an adult website) searches. What he found tells an interesting story about the differences of how men across the country report and express their same-sex interests.

For starters, according to data from Facebook, Gallup, and the U.S. Census, states that are the least tolerant and most stigmatizing of homosexuality (e.g. Mississippi) seemingly have less gay men among their populations than states that are the most accepting of homosexuality (e.g. California). For example, according to Facebook data, men in California are 3 times are likely to be interested in the same-sex (3% of the male population) than men in Mississippi (1% of the male population). You can see a parallel trend in the (below) graphic from OkCupid, which asked straight-identified users how open they’d be to a same-sex sexual encounter. The map reveals that individuals in states more tolerant of homosexuality expressed more openness to a same-sex encounter than individuals from less tolerant states. Data from the Census, Gallup, and Match.com reveal similar disparities in the willingness of individuals to disclose a gay sexuality identity and/or same-sex interests in high vs. low tolerant states.

Why might these differences exist? Is it possible that gay and bisexual men simply choose to congregate in more tolerant states?  To address these questions, Stephens-Davidowitz took a look at the percentage of high school-aged males that expressed an interest in men on their Facebook profiles, since young men of this age can’t move across the country at will. The results from this analysis also showed that young men in more tolerant states were significantly more likely to express same-sex interests than young men in less tolerant states. Since there is no evidence to suggest that a man in (say) California is more likely to be born gay or bisexual than a man in (say) Mississippi, the most likely explanation is that men in less tolerant states are more hesitant to reveal their same-sex interests than men in more tolerant states.

How do we test this theory?  Well, porn, of course! Stephens-Davidowitz took a look at the search trends of the adult website RocketTube.com. What he found was that across all states about 5% of total searches were for gay/male pornography. This suggests a relatively equal percentage of male gay/same-sex interest across the country, regardless of state.

Continuing his research using behavioral measures of sexual interest, Stephens-Davidowitz took a look at “casual encounter” posts on Craigslist.  What he found was that the percentage of ads from men seeking casual encounters with other men tends to be much higher in less tolerant states. Among the states with the highest percentages of male-seeking-male ads were Alabama, Kentucky, and Louisiana.

What does all of this mean? It seems that living in a place that is less tolerant and more stigmatizing of homosexuality makes it more likely that a gay or bisexual man will hide his sexual identity. In those states more accepting of homosexuality, we see that men of all ages are more likely to share their sexual identity in public ways, like on their Facebook, Match.com profile, or even to the Census Bureau.  Whereas men in less tolerant areas are less likely to disclose their sexual identity. Yet, apparently gay and bisexual men in less tolerant states are not altogether denying their same-sex interests—in fact, men in these states may be equally (and in some cases more) likely to fulfill their same-sex interest in more private (secret?) ways, through gay/male pornography and online hook-ups.

What we don’t know, is how much psychological strain is placed on these men because of their felt need to keep their same-sex interests private.  Some of these men may-well be completely happy keeping their sexuality to themselves.  Others, however, may be keeping their interests in men secret to avoid scrutiny from others—or perhaps even themselves.  In some cases these men may feel pressure to date or marry women to further conceal their sexual orientation. In his article, Stephens-Davidowitz notes that the Google search query: “Is my husband gay?” is searched significantly more frequently in states less tolerant of homosexuality.

This research highlights how this type of intolerance can restrict men from being open about their sexual identities. For some, this may mean inwardly or outwardly limiting a bisexual, curious, or fluid sexual-identity. For others, it may mean hiding or denying the entirety of a gay sexual-identity.

Let me know what you think?