Sex as Exercise? (Article)
"There are these myths” that sex burns at least 100 calories per session, said Antony D. Karelis, a professor of exercise science at the University of Quebec at Montreal. To find if there was any truth to the idea, he undertook a study, published in PLOS One in October, to look at how much energy is actually exerted during sex.
This article appeared in the Dec. 8, 2013 issue of The New York Times Magazine
As far back as the 1950s, couples have been asked to strap on monitors, blood-pressure cuffs, oxygen masks and other paraphernalia and copulate, to scientifically quantify the impacts of sex. The focus is often on whether sex can kill you by precipitating a heart attack. Happily, these studies generally show that heart rates rise during intercourse, but tolerably. In a 2008 study, middle-aged subjects’ heart rates jumped at the point of orgasm by only 21 beats per minute in men and 19 in women, about the same response as if they’d just done a few jumping jacks. The risk for sex-related cardiac arrest is, in fact, vanishingly small, statistics show, though it may be greater when the act is extramarital.
The issue of sex as exercise, however, has remained largely unexplored. “There are these myths,” including that sex burns at least 100 calories per session, said Antony D. Karelis, a professor of exercise science at the University of Quebec at Montreal who undertook a study, published in PLOS One in October, to look at how much energy is actually exerted during sex. “But nobody had tested” those assumptions.
To do so, Karelis and his colleagues recruited 21 young heterosexual committed couples from the local area and had them jog on treadmills for 30 minutes, while researchers monitored their energy expenditure and other metrics, in order to provide a comparison for the physical demands of sex. The scientists next gave their volunteers unobtrusive armband activity monitors that gauge exertion in terms of calories and METs, or metabolic equivalent of task, a physiological measure comparing an activity to sitting perfectly still, which is a 1-MET task. Then the scientists sent the couples home, instructing them to complete at least one sex act a week for a month while wearing the armbands, and to fill out questionnaires about how each session made them feel, physically and psychologically, especially compared with running on the treadmill.
When the researchers analyzed all of the resulting data, it was clear, Karelis said, that sex qualified as “moderate exercise,” a 6-MET activity for men and 5.6-MET activity for women. That’s the equivalent, according to various estimates, of playing doubles tennis or walking uphill. The jogging, by comparison, was more strenuous, an 8.5-MET activity for the men in the study and 8.4 for women. (Though some men, according to their activity monitors, used more energy for brief periods during sex than they did jogging.) The sex also burned four calories per minute for men and three per minute for women, during sessions that ranged from 10 to 57 minutes, including foreplay. (The average was 25 minutes.) Men burned about 9 calories per minute jogging and women about 7.
Over all, the data reveal that “sex can be considered, at times, a significant exercise,” Karelis said, worth encouraging in people who otherwise balk at working out. Ninety-eight percent of Karelis’s volunteers reported that sex felt more fun than jogging. The other 2 percent, I suspect, will be back in the dating market soon.
Anger is just anger.
Marvel Comics
Anger is just anger. It isn't good. It isn't bad. It just is. What you do with it is what matters. It's like anything else. You can use it to build or to destroy. You just have to make the choice.
- Jim Butcher
Overcoming Masturbation Procrastination (or Procrasturbation)
“Five orgasms a day,” I said, barely glancing up from my knitting. “Minimum.”
Her eyes grew large. ”How do you manage that?” she asked.
“Two orgasms upon waking, two before sleep, and at least another one sometime during the day. It keeps me happy. I’m in a much better mood when I cum regularly.”
She sounded confused. “But you don’t live with anyone; how do you have sex before and after sleep to get your orgasm quota?”
I looked up, surprised at the question. “The five orgasm minimum is self-generated. When I have time with a lover, often that number goes up. I reach my orgasm quota by myself, no problem.”
(Excerpt)
“Five orgasms a day,” I said, barely glancing up from my knitting. “Minimum.”
Her eyes grew large. ”How do you manage that?” she asked.
“Two orgasms upon waking, two before sleep, and at least another one sometime during the day. It keeps me happy. I’m in a much better mood when I cum regularly.”
She sounded confused. “But you don’t live with anyone; how do you have sex before and after sleep to get your orgasm quota?”
I looked up, surprised at the question. “The five orgasm minimum is self-generated. When I have time with a lover, often that number goes up. I reach my orgasm quota by myself, no problem.”
An Empirical Look at the Modern Man (O.C.)
What does the modern masculinity look like? This is the question that the leaders of the Australian company M&C Saatchi have dared to answer in their recent publishing of The Modern [Aussie] Man.
Photograph: Rob Wilkinson/Alamy
What does the modern masculinity look like? This is the question that the leaders of the Australian company M&C Saatchi have dared to answer in their recent publishing of The Modern [Aussie] Man.
Their stated purpose:
“The Modern (Aussie) Man White Paper was released as part of the Men’s Strategic Roundtable held at Parliament House, Canberra on International Men’s Day, 19th November 2013. By identifying the perceptions of a significant sample and cross-section of Australian men, the Modern (Aussie) Man White Paper has done what few have dared; given men back a personal gender voice to self-profile and share perceptions with exceptionally raw and self-effacing honesty.
ALL MEN ARE NOT BASTARDS OR IGNORANT, yet men believe this has become the default societal assumption. The Modern (Aussie) Man White Paper aimed to draw a line under historic truths and modern day stereotyping; painting a new portrait of our nation’s males and their perceptions of masculinity, men’s roles and feminism.”
A team of researchers to interviewed a broad representative sample of 140 men between the ages of 27 and 64 about their hopes, fears, aspirations, shortcomings, and experiences as men. Seventy of the interviewed men were “influential leaders, marketers and role models from business, sport, military, popular culture, hospitality, philanthropy, academia, men’s health & wellbeing, education, media, advertising & fashion.” The other seventy were “everyday men” from white-collar, blue-collar, and service industries. While I have yet to get my hands on the full paper, the researchers have provided an online summary of “the strongest patterns evident in the majority of men interviewed.”
Men on Relationships:
- Men are women’s biggest fans – respectful of women and their rights to equal opportunities, considerations and benefits.
- Partnered, (straight) men feel they have to negotiate for permission from their partners for alone time or time with their friends.
- Some men experience a lot of anxiety when buying presents for women. They can become excessively worried about ‘getting it wrong’ and the potential for subsequent consequences.
- Men feel disappointed by partners who lose their sense of humor as they get older.
- Men are unassuming romantics; obsessed with evoking expressions of surprise and delight in their partners.
Men on Man Stuff:
- Most men do not feel “emasculated.”
- To be the best versions of themselves, men need man time. Depending on the particular man, this may mean time alone or time with male friends. The researchers state that men use this time to re-balance and de-stress in the absence of expectations, judgments, or stress.
- “Non-sporty men” will fake an interest in sports to avoid alienation by other men
- Among men, humorous mockery is used as a “levelling reaction” to inauthenticity and grandstanding, but not genuine success.
- Men are the yet-to-be discovered consumer. They love buying, but hate the word “shopping.”
- The term ‘metrosexual’ is seen as a euphemism for vain by several men.
- Play is the defining way that men relate to and bond with children – especially boys.
- Men would like to laugh more at home but are afraid of seeming immature, especially to the women in their lives. The writers point to this as another reason men should engage in “man time” with one another.
- Men are conditioned to being told they’re wrong. One result of this is that the majority of interviewed men had developed “gender issue laryngitis;” That is, for seemingly pragmatic purposes they no longer felt welcome to share their opinions and concerns related to gender.
The researchers say that their research dispels the myth of a modern man who is ignorant and a detached. They write:
“The reality is encouraging. The majority of Australian men have evolved. Based on the findings in this research, we believe that that the majority of Australian men have strength of character, emotional intuition and traditional values grounded in respect, equality, humour, friendship, elementariness and most importantly family. They are not emasculated. Essentially, Australian men are an exemplary archetype of strong and authentic masculinity in the 21st century.”
I should remind the reader that I haven’t seen a copy of the actual manuscript at this point, which will likely detail their complete findings. Also keep in mind that all of the men interviewed for this research were Australian. That said, I am interested in what you think:
How do these finding relate to men/masculinity in the U.S. and other countries?
What differences (if any) would you expect to see if this research was conducted on men outside of Australia?
Dads Want to Have It All Too
In a recent Washington Post article, titled "Dads, Too, Want to Have It All," Brigid Schulte describes how some men struggle with work/life balance just as much as some women do. While some men report wanting to share in the responsibilities of home and family, they often find themselves slipping into the traditional "bread winner" role within their families, which often results in their spouses taking on more of the home and family responsibilities. The writer concludes by noting:
“Women have been good having a voice in the feminist movement, saying ‘We have a place in the home, now we need a place in the workplace that is equal to men,’” Harrington said. “Men have been a lot less vocal and a lot less assertive to say, ‘We’ve got a place in the workplace, but we need to legitimize our place in the home.’”
Even Drill Sergeants have a soft spot (video)
The reaction of this Sergeant to this boy's surprising response is priceless and reminds us of the importance of fatherhood.
Help! My Penis has Fallen & I Can't Get It Up (O.C.)
The science and psychology of erectile dysfunction -- and what you can do about it.
Every now and then, a relatively young man comes into my therapy office concerned that he’s lost the ability to get an erection. The events leading up to his visit to see me, might have gone something like this:
It’s Friday night and Mike’s been swamped at work all week. He decided to cut-out at 5:00p, rather than staying late to get a head-start on next week like he normally does. Mike goes out and after a few drinks he chats up a hottie at the local bar. After some conversation he’s invited back to the hottie’s place for what he’s certain will turn into some consensual adult-on-adult fun. Mike’s pretty excited – it’s been a while since he’s had any action, and it’s been even longer since he picked up a hottie at a bar.
After a few more drinks on the couch, one thing leads to another and the two start messing around. And then, about 10 minutes in, Mike goes limp. The hottie notices and asks if everything is okay. Mike says he’s fine and that he just needs a minute and he’ll be back to action. Mike takes matters into his own hands for a few strokes – trying to focus on the hottie in front of him waiting for him to come to attention. He gets a little movement from the little guy, but he’s still limp. Now Mike’s getting a worried. This hasn’t happened to him before. He remembers he hasn’t had sex in a while and wonders if he’s become impotent from underuse. Embarrassed and convinced that something is seriously wrong with him or his equipment, he tells the hottie that he’s had too much to drink, gets dressed quickly, and darts out the door.
♦◊♦
Men who’ve experienced a situation similar to Mike’s usually show up to my office on one of two occasions: 1) Immediately following their first failed attempt at achieving an erection or 2) weeks, months, or even years after several failed attempts. The first group of men, so astounded by their inability to bone-up after years of never having a problem, show up afraid that sex, as they’ve known it, is over. The second group of men have secretly been harboring the same amount of terror, but have only recently built up the courage to tell anyone about it. Both types of guys typically show up feeling embarrassed, ashamed, and sometimes depressed.
The first question I tend to ask guys with this issue is “Are you able to get and maintain an erection in other situations, such as masturbating or while asleep?” In most cases, if a man can achieve and maintain an erection while masturbating and/or notices that his penis is erect in the mornings (i.e. “morning wood”), then the problem is likely a psychological one and not a physiological one. If my client reports that he cannot achieve erection while masturbating or while asleep/waking, his ED may have a physiological cause, and he should speak to a physician about treatment.
However, most of the men who’ve sought my help around this issue are young to middle-aged men, who describes no significant medical history that would suggests a physiological issue – such as poor prostate health or long-term drug abuse. The root cause of ED in these men is most typically related to anxiety. Anxiety is a boner’s arch-nemesis.
Anxiety activates the sympathetic nervous system, which makes it incredibly difficult for any man (young or old) to achieve an erection. The sympathetic nervous system is the part of the nervous system that activates when we experience feelings of “fight or flight.” It most cases it serves an important role in preparing our bodies to take action, such as fleeing a dangerous situation or competing in a sport. The sympathetic nervous system accelerates our heart rate, allows our body to take in more oxygen, and increases blood-flow to our limbs. As a result, other bodily functions are reduced – such as digestion and sexual arousal, which are controlled by the parasympathetic nervous system. For most men, it’s unlikely that they can be fully sexually aroused while simultaneously engaging in strenuous physical activity. Similarly, most men cannot achieve full sexual arousal while experiencing high levels of fear or anxiety.
Some men are quite aware of their anxiety in sexual situations. In cases like Mike’s, his first experience of ED might have been due to stress related to work or his anxiety about hooking-up for the first time in a long time. However, in a future sexual situation, Mike may recall his previous inability to get-it-up, causing him to worry about his ability to get-it-up this time, thereby increasing his anxiety, and making it more difficult for him to achieve an erection. This cycle may repeat itself for days, months, or even years before he seeks appropriate treatment. Men who put a lot of pressure on themselves to perform sexually are at increased risk of this vicious cycle.
For some men, overcoming this cycle is as simple as realizing its cause. Simply by knowing that there isn’t a physiological problem allows them to relax and feel less anxious in future sexual situations. Other men will need to be more patient with themselves in order to reduce their anxiety.
♦◊♦
Here are some tips for those struggling with anxiety induced erectile difficulties:
1. Know that men of all ages can experience erectile difficulties at any point in their lives.
- Just because you couldn’t get/maintain an erection on a few isolated occasions, doesn’t mean it will necessarily continue to be a problem.
- If your difficulty achieving/maintaining erections is limited to certain (but not all) situations, then it is likely caused by a psychological issue, not a physiological one.
2. Anxiety will kill your boner.
- Although things like depression can also make sexual arousal difficult, sexual difficulties from depression are more likely experienced as a loss of libido – a.k.a., not being “in the mood” – rather than as erectile difficulties.
- If you are feeling nervous during a sexual encounter or have more generalized anxiety it will be more difficult for you to achieve an erection. (I should note: for some men anxiety results in premature ejaculation — but that’s a topic for another article.)
3. Find ways to reduce your anxiety in the moment and in general.
- If you experience anxiety specifically during sexual encounters, find ways to make the experience more comfortable for yourself. Such as, engaging in sexual activity in a familiar environment or with a trusted partner.
- If your anxiety is more general or related to other issues in your life, seek psychological treatment, or find a trusted friend or family member to talk out your anxieties.
4. Relax.
- Try to take yourself and your penis less seriously in these moments.
- Guilt, shame, and embarrassment will only increase your anxiety, making it more difficult for you to become erect.
- If you’re feeling anxious and having erectile difficulties while with a partner, redirect your attention to your partner. Find ways to engage sexually with them that don’t require you to be erect – e.g. stimulating them orally, kissing, or massage. By doing so, you can allow yourself to relax and potentially regain your erection. Focusing on them in this way also reduces the likelihood that they’ll blame themselves for your “loss of enthusiasm.”
The only thing you have to fear is fear itself.