Male Bonding or Bullying? (video)
A satirical video from The Onion hits on some interesting points about the ways some men connect and bond with one another.
Why You're Less Likely to Meet a Gay Man in the South -- Or Are You? (O.C.)
It seems that intolerance of homosexuality does contribute to how men express their same-sex interests. This past weekend, The New York Times published an article titled: “How Many American Men Are Gay?” that looked at the percentage of self-identified gay men in the United States. What was found tells an interesting story about the differences in how men across the country report and express their same-sex interests.
It seems that intolerance of homosexuality does contribute to how men express their same-sex interests. This past weekend, The New York Times published an article titled: “How Many American Men Are Gay?” which took a look at the percentage of self-identified gay men in the United States. The writer, Seth Stephens-Davidowitz, collected reports of homosexual interests among men from a variety of sources, including the U.S. Census, Gallup, Facebook, Match.com, Craigslist, Google searches, and Rocket Tube (an adult website) searches. What he found tells an interesting story about the differences of how men across the country report and express their same-sex interests.
For starters, according to data from Facebook, Gallup, and the U.S. Census, states that are the least tolerant and most stigmatizing of homosexuality (e.g. Mississippi) seemingly have less gay men among their populations than states that are the most accepting of homosexuality (e.g. California). For example, according to Facebook data, men in California are 3 times are likely to be interested in the same-sex (3% of the male population) than men in Mississippi (1% of the male population). You can see a parallel trend in the (below) graphic from OkCupid, which asked straight-identified users how open they’d be to a same-sex sexual encounter. The map reveals that individuals in states more tolerant of homosexuality expressed more openness to a same-sex encounter than individuals from less tolerant states. Data from the Census, Gallup, and Match.com reveal similar disparities in the willingness of individuals to disclose a gay sexuality identity and/or same-sex interests in high vs. low tolerant states.
Why might these differences exist? Is it possible that gay and bisexual men simply choose to congregate in more tolerant states? To address these questions, Stephens-Davidowitz took a look at the percentage of high school-aged males that expressed an interest in men on their Facebook profiles, since young men of this age can’t move across the country at will. The results from this analysis also showed that young men in more tolerant states were significantly more likely to express same-sex interests than young men in less tolerant states. Since there is no evidence to suggest that a man in (say) California is more likely to be born gay or bisexual than a man in (say) Mississippi, the most likely explanation is that men in less tolerant states are more hesitant to reveal their same-sex interests than men in more tolerant states.
How do we test this theory? Well, porn, of course! Stephens-Davidowitz took a look at the search trends of the adult website RocketTube.com. What he found was that across all states about 5% of total searches were for gay/male pornography. This suggests a relatively equal percentage of male gay/same-sex interest across the country, regardless of state.
Continuing his research using behavioral measures of sexual interest, Stephens-Davidowitz took a look at “casual encounter” posts on Craigslist. What he found was that the percentage of ads from men seeking casual encounters with other men tends to be much higher in less tolerant states. Among the states with the highest percentages of male-seeking-male ads were Alabama, Kentucky, and Louisiana.
What does all of this mean? It seems that living in a place that is less tolerant and more stigmatizing of homosexuality makes it more likely that a gay or bisexual man will hide his sexual identity. In those states more accepting of homosexuality, we see that men of all ages are more likely to share their sexual identity in public ways, like on their Facebook, Match.com profile, or even to the Census Bureau. Whereas men in less tolerant areas are less likely to disclose their sexual identity. Yet, apparently gay and bisexual men in less tolerant states are not altogether denying their same-sex interests—in fact, men in these states may be equally (and in some cases more) likely to fulfill their same-sex interest in more private (secret?) ways, through gay/male pornography and online hook-ups.
What we don’t know, is how much psychological strain is placed on these men because of their felt need to keep their same-sex interests private. Some of these men may-well be completely happy keeping their sexuality to themselves. Others, however, may be keeping their interests in men secret to avoid scrutiny from others—or perhaps even themselves. In some cases these men may feel pressure to date or marry women to further conceal their sexual orientation. In his article, Stephens-Davidowitz notes that the Google search query: “Is my husband gay?” is searched significantly more frequently in states less tolerant of homosexuality.
This research highlights how this type of intolerance can restrict men from being open about their sexual identities. For some, this may mean inwardly or outwardly limiting a bisexual, curious, or fluid sexual-identity. For others, it may mean hiding or denying the entirety of a gay sexual-identity.
Let me know what you think?
Sex as Exercise? (Article)
"There are these myths” that sex burns at least 100 calories per session, said Antony D. Karelis, a professor of exercise science at the University of Quebec at Montreal. To find if there was any truth to the idea, he undertook a study, published in PLOS One in October, to look at how much energy is actually exerted during sex.
This article appeared in the Dec. 8, 2013 issue of The New York Times Magazine
As far back as the 1950s, couples have been asked to strap on monitors, blood-pressure cuffs, oxygen masks and other paraphernalia and copulate, to scientifically quantify the impacts of sex. The focus is often on whether sex can kill you by precipitating a heart attack. Happily, these studies generally show that heart rates rise during intercourse, but tolerably. In a 2008 study, middle-aged subjects’ heart rates jumped at the point of orgasm by only 21 beats per minute in men and 19 in women, about the same response as if they’d just done a few jumping jacks. The risk for sex-related cardiac arrest is, in fact, vanishingly small, statistics show, though it may be greater when the act is extramarital.
The issue of sex as exercise, however, has remained largely unexplored. “There are these myths,” including that sex burns at least 100 calories per session, said Antony D. Karelis, a professor of exercise science at the University of Quebec at Montreal who undertook a study, published in PLOS One in October, to look at how much energy is actually exerted during sex. “But nobody had tested” those assumptions.
To do so, Karelis and his colleagues recruited 21 young heterosexual committed couples from the local area and had them jog on treadmills for 30 minutes, while researchers monitored their energy expenditure and other metrics, in order to provide a comparison for the physical demands of sex. The scientists next gave their volunteers unobtrusive armband activity monitors that gauge exertion in terms of calories and METs, or metabolic equivalent of task, a physiological measure comparing an activity to sitting perfectly still, which is a 1-MET task. Then the scientists sent the couples home, instructing them to complete at least one sex act a week for a month while wearing the armbands, and to fill out questionnaires about how each session made them feel, physically and psychologically, especially compared with running on the treadmill.
When the researchers analyzed all of the resulting data, it was clear, Karelis said, that sex qualified as “moderate exercise,” a 6-MET activity for men and 5.6-MET activity for women. That’s the equivalent, according to various estimates, of playing doubles tennis or walking uphill. The jogging, by comparison, was more strenuous, an 8.5-MET activity for the men in the study and 8.4 for women. (Though some men, according to their activity monitors, used more energy for brief periods during sex than they did jogging.) The sex also burned four calories per minute for men and three per minute for women, during sessions that ranged from 10 to 57 minutes, including foreplay. (The average was 25 minutes.) Men burned about 9 calories per minute jogging and women about 7.
Over all, the data reveal that “sex can be considered, at times, a significant exercise,” Karelis said, worth encouraging in people who otherwise balk at working out. Ninety-eight percent of Karelis’s volunteers reported that sex felt more fun than jogging. The other 2 percent, I suspect, will be back in the dating market soon.
Anger is just anger.
Marvel Comics
Anger is just anger. It isn't good. It isn't bad. It just is. What you do with it is what matters. It's like anything else. You can use it to build or to destroy. You just have to make the choice.
- Jim Butcher
Overcoming Masturbation Procrastination (or Procrasturbation)
“Five orgasms a day,” I said, barely glancing up from my knitting. “Minimum.”
Her eyes grew large. ”How do you manage that?” she asked.
“Two orgasms upon waking, two before sleep, and at least another one sometime during the day. It keeps me happy. I’m in a much better mood when I cum regularly.”
She sounded confused. “But you don’t live with anyone; how do you have sex before and after sleep to get your orgasm quota?”
I looked up, surprised at the question. “The five orgasm minimum is self-generated. When I have time with a lover, often that number goes up. I reach my orgasm quota by myself, no problem.”
(Excerpt)
“Five orgasms a day,” I said, barely glancing up from my knitting. “Minimum.”
Her eyes grew large. ”How do you manage that?” she asked.
“Two orgasms upon waking, two before sleep, and at least another one sometime during the day. It keeps me happy. I’m in a much better mood when I cum regularly.”
She sounded confused. “But you don’t live with anyone; how do you have sex before and after sleep to get your orgasm quota?”
I looked up, surprised at the question. “The five orgasm minimum is self-generated. When I have time with a lover, often that number goes up. I reach my orgasm quota by myself, no problem.”
An Empirical Look at the Modern Man (O.C.)
What does the modern masculinity look like? This is the question that the leaders of the Australian company M&C Saatchi have dared to answer in their recent publishing of The Modern [Aussie] Man.
Photograph: Rob Wilkinson/Alamy
What does the modern masculinity look like? This is the question that the leaders of the Australian company M&C Saatchi have dared to answer in their recent publishing of The Modern [Aussie] Man.
Their stated purpose:
“The Modern (Aussie) Man White Paper was released as part of the Men’s Strategic Roundtable held at Parliament House, Canberra on International Men’s Day, 19th November 2013. By identifying the perceptions of a significant sample and cross-section of Australian men, the Modern (Aussie) Man White Paper has done what few have dared; given men back a personal gender voice to self-profile and share perceptions with exceptionally raw and self-effacing honesty.
ALL MEN ARE NOT BASTARDS OR IGNORANT, yet men believe this has become the default societal assumption. The Modern (Aussie) Man White Paper aimed to draw a line under historic truths and modern day stereotyping; painting a new portrait of our nation’s males and their perceptions of masculinity, men’s roles and feminism.”
A team of researchers to interviewed a broad representative sample of 140 men between the ages of 27 and 64 about their hopes, fears, aspirations, shortcomings, and experiences as men. Seventy of the interviewed men were “influential leaders, marketers and role models from business, sport, military, popular culture, hospitality, philanthropy, academia, men’s health & wellbeing, education, media, advertising & fashion.” The other seventy were “everyday men” from white-collar, blue-collar, and service industries. While I have yet to get my hands on the full paper, the researchers have provided an online summary of “the strongest patterns evident in the majority of men interviewed.”
Men on Relationships:
- Men are women’s biggest fans – respectful of women and their rights to equal opportunities, considerations and benefits.
- Partnered, (straight) men feel they have to negotiate for permission from their partners for alone time or time with their friends.
- Some men experience a lot of anxiety when buying presents for women. They can become excessively worried about ‘getting it wrong’ and the potential for subsequent consequences.
- Men feel disappointed by partners who lose their sense of humor as they get older.
- Men are unassuming romantics; obsessed with evoking expressions of surprise and delight in their partners.
Men on Man Stuff:
- Most men do not feel “emasculated.”
- To be the best versions of themselves, men need man time. Depending on the particular man, this may mean time alone or time with male friends. The researchers state that men use this time to re-balance and de-stress in the absence of expectations, judgments, or stress.
- “Non-sporty men” will fake an interest in sports to avoid alienation by other men
- Among men, humorous mockery is used as a “levelling reaction” to inauthenticity and grandstanding, but not genuine success.
- Men are the yet-to-be discovered consumer. They love buying, but hate the word “shopping.”
- The term ‘metrosexual’ is seen as a euphemism for vain by several men.
- Play is the defining way that men relate to and bond with children – especially boys.
- Men would like to laugh more at home but are afraid of seeming immature, especially to the women in their lives. The writers point to this as another reason men should engage in “man time” with one another.
- Men are conditioned to being told they’re wrong. One result of this is that the majority of interviewed men had developed “gender issue laryngitis;” That is, for seemingly pragmatic purposes they no longer felt welcome to share their opinions and concerns related to gender.
The researchers say that their research dispels the myth of a modern man who is ignorant and a detached. They write:
“The reality is encouraging. The majority of Australian men have evolved. Based on the findings in this research, we believe that that the majority of Australian men have strength of character, emotional intuition and traditional values grounded in respect, equality, humour, friendship, elementariness and most importantly family. They are not emasculated. Essentially, Australian men are an exemplary archetype of strong and authentic masculinity in the 21st century.”
I should remind the reader that I haven’t seen a copy of the actual manuscript at this point, which will likely detail their complete findings. Also keep in mind that all of the men interviewed for this research were Australian. That said, I am interested in what you think:
How do these finding relate to men/masculinity in the U.S. and other countries?
What differences (if any) would you expect to see if this research was conducted on men outside of Australia?
Dads Want to Have It All Too
In a recent Washington Post article, titled "Dads, Too, Want to Have It All," Brigid Schulte describes how some men struggle with work/life balance just as much as some women do. While some men report wanting to share in the responsibilities of home and family, they often find themselves slipping into the traditional "bread winner" role within their families, which often results in their spouses taking on more of the home and family responsibilities. The writer concludes by noting:
“Women have been good having a voice in the feminist movement, saying ‘We have a place in the home, now we need a place in the workplace that is equal to men,’” Harrington said. “Men have been a lot less vocal and a lot less assertive to say, ‘We’ve got a place in the workplace, but we need to legitimize our place in the home.’”