Dr. Aqualus Gordon 7/5/12 Dr. Aqualus Gordon 7/5/12

You're Addicted to What? Challenging the Myth of Sex Addition

The issue of what to call sexual behavior that is described as out of control is important not just for society in general, but for humanists in particular. To the extent that the sex addiction movement trivializes science as just one of many different perspectives, it affects us. To the extent that it tries to squeeze people into a small normative box of sexual behavior, it’s relevant to our cause. And to the extent that it pathologizes behavior that doesn’t hurt other people, it’s a prime example of what a humanist public policy would replace.

You're Addicted to What? | The Humanist:

The addiction model starts with “we admitted we were powerless.” The therapy model starts with “you’re responsible for your choices; I wonder why you keep doing what gives you what you say you don’t want?”
What this means for humanists [psychotherapists]
The sex addiction movement exploits people’s fear of their own sexuality. As humanists we oppose anything that exploits fear.
Recalling that sex addiction is a fairly new concept, we can observe the historical and cultural context from which the movement emerged—not a sexological context as much as a narrative about fear, danger, powerlessness, and victimization.
The sex addiction model inevitably tells us that eroticism needs to be controlled, and that erotica and commercial sex are dangerous and problematic. This means that the sex addiction movement, with the help of the religious right, supports public policy focused on controlling sexuality. Unfortunately it has been very successful in that regard.
The sex addiction model tells us that imagination has no healthy role to play in sexuality. This fundamental misunderstanding of human nature is very much our business.
The issue of what to call sexual behavior that is described as out of control is important not just for society in general, but for humanists in particular. To the extent that the sex addiction movement trivializes science as just one of many different perspectives, it affects us. To the extent that it tries to squeeze people into a small normative box of sexual behavior, it’s relevant to our cause. And to the extent that it pathologizes behavior that doesn’t hurt other people, it’s a prime example of what a humanist public policy would replace.
Dr. Marty Klein is a licensed marriage and family therapist and certified sex therapist in Palo Alto, California. He is on the editorial advisory board of the Humanist, and he recently spoke at the AHA annual conference.

Dr. Aqualus Gordon 7/1/12 Dr. Aqualus Gordon 7/1/12

Inspirational Images

Dr. Aqualus Gordon 1/5/12 Dr. Aqualus Gordon 1/5/12

Sticking up for a Brother

Mohandas Gandhi saw an older brother sticking up for his little brother, and was so inspired, he had to write about it.

Two Brothers: http://thefabweb.com/49249/30-best-pictures-of-the-week-showing-human-emotion-july-3st-to-july-9th-2012/ — Two Brothers:
http://thefabweb.com/49249/30-best-pictures-of-the-week-showing-human-emotion-july-3st-to-july-9th-2012/

You thought I didn’t really notice. But I did. I wanted to high-five you.

Yesterday I had a pair of brothers in my store. One was maybe between 15-17. He was a wrestler at the local high school. Kind of tall, stocky and handsome. He had a younger brother, who was maybe about 10-12 years old. Thy were talking about finding a game for the younger one, and he was absolutely insisting it be one with a female charcter. I don’t know how many of y’all play games, but that isn’t exactly easy. Eventually, I helped the brothers pick a game called Mirror’s Edge. The youngest was pretty excited about the game, and then he specifically asked me.. “Do you have any girl color controllers?”

I directed him to the only colored controllers we have which includes pink and purple ones. He grabbed the purple one, and informed me purple was his FAVORITE.

The boys had been taking awhile, so their father eventually comes in. He see’s the game, and the controller, and starts in on the youngest about how he needs to pick something different. Something more manly. Something with guns and fighting, and certainly not a purple controller. He tries to convince him to get the new Zombie game “Dead Island.” and the little boy just stands their repeating “Dad, this is what I want, ok?” Eventually it turns into a full blown argument complete with Dad threatening to whoop his son if he doesn’t choose different items.

That’s when big brother stepped in. He said to his Dad “It’s my money, it’s my gift to him, if it’s what he wants I’m getting it for him, and if your gonna hit anyone for it, it’s going to be me.”

Dad just gives his oldest son a strong stern stare down, and then leaves the store. Little brother is crying quietly, I walk over and ruffle his hair (yes this happened all in front of me.) I say “I’m a girl, and I like the color blue, and I like shooting games. There’s nothing wrong with what you like. Even if it’s different that what people think you should.”

Big brother then leans down, kisses little brother on the head, and says “Don’t worry dude.”

They check out and leave, and all I can think is how awesome big brother is, how sweet little brother is, and how Dad ought to be ashamed for trying to make his son any other way.

This story was written on Mohandas Gandhi's tumblr, with the title: DEAR CUSTOMER WHO STUCK UP FOR HIS LITTLE BROTHER: